Talking it out.

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Photo cred: Sheryll Smith

Some days I truly do feel far away from God. Like He actually is light years away, and I wonder what is the point?

Today at work I felt so far away from everyone. Like I had no one. Not a friend, no compatriots, no nothing. I know a job is a job and I’m not really there to make friends. I’m to keep my head down and work, but I can’t help but feel like my last job was a lot more friendly. I hated my last job… Hated it but I feel nothing but alone here and confused. They both have their struggles even though they are different jobs. I feel thrown to the wolves some of the time. I’ve been here for a little over a month now and it still feels the same. I just feel like it all should be clicking by now. Sometimes there are good days thrown in here or there.

Maybe I’m just having a bad day. Maybe I’m just having an off month or so. Sometimes I just think I’m not made for this job- and to be honest I don’t think I am. I’m made for something bigger. Something more important but God is just taking his time on revealing that. Maybe this week He’s just taken a step back so that I can fall so that I can see that I need him more than ever right now.

Maybe I’m not suppose to feel settled because this isn’t it. There’s more out there and I just haven’t seen it yet. Time will only tell…

-A

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