I am so freaking fickle. All of a sudden it seems like life is going great for others. All my peers have sought out careers and seem to be doing one heck of a good job at finding those said careers and I can’t help but keep going back and forth on my decisions. I go from wanting to be a screenwriter-> a writer->an ESL teacher-> to possibly looking into
pathology (POSSIBLY- but probably not. Why am I even putting this on here. Hm.) I’m a 26 year old, living with her parents, and I’m working a part time job. I’m not qualified for anything other than writing, and come June I’ll be getting certified for teaching English as a second language and also jumping back on the track of having my bank account look like when I was in college and it was dismal, oh boy was it dismal. As I wrote the post above last night one of my friends told me to sleep on it. So I did. I slept on it and tried not to think about it for the majority of today and as I was doing my bible study with the coolest app (She Reads Truth) I found that I am blessed. Even through my discrepancies and the possibly bleak outlook I have on my future (and bank account), I find that I am blessed.
Here let me explain- Jesus came to Mount Sinai and preached to all the spiritually bankrupt, deprived, deficient, the beggars, and all those who found themselves to be without “religion” and said to us that we will be blessed. He came for us. I started writing the first paragraph yesterday in a low pit, a desolate emotional pit if you will, and complained that I wasn’t even in the realm of being able to pay for my own rent if I wanted to. It’s by His grace that I find that I’m not in an even lower pit and I’m holding onto that.
Even though life seems to get the better of us and the things we hold onto in this world slip through our fingers we can and always find that through the graces of His love that we are blessed. I understand that the horizon looks tough and barren, and that this season in life doesn’t seem like it’ll end- nothing feels like it will help it even… But that is furthest from the truth. Hold on, and trust that the Lord isn’t gonna let you sink. He’s gonna make us new and the strife we feel now will be vanquished. It will, believe me! Life is hard but in the end we will be rewarded.