I do my best writing between the times of 11 and 1:00am. I do it before I say my nightly prayers while I’m lying in a darkened room beneath my sheets with my phone in hand. I think better at this time because I feel so uninhibited. I’ve got no one around me, the day is done, and my mind is focused solely on me. Me! Always me, right? I notice that even when I ask people about their day and what they’ve been up to I frantically (on the inside) and sometime impatiently wait for them to retort that same question back so I can talk about me. Selfish, right?
I’m a selfish human being. I have the lights out but the flood gates have opened and my mind is in over drive towards the shiney beacon that is myself…
Earlier this week I read an article on being humble and I thought to myself “I’m humble, no one needs to tell me that… But I’ll read this article anyway.” And as I did I instantly found that I was the exact opposite. This ultimately leads to a plunder of my missteps, right?
Yep, you got it.
I immediately started to analyze my past encounters and tried to put myself in hypothetical situations, really trying to be honest with myself… But it all lead back to the fact that I only think of me. Now, we all think of ourselves; What do we want to eat? Where do we want to go? Which clothing should I wear to make myself feel good? In today’s society it’s all about us. “I shouldn’t have to deal with that.” “I don’t deserve that.” “But what do I really want?” We’re all selfish. And I’m not trying to take the blame off myself. I’m trying to relate the blame to all of us.
We weren’t born humble. Curious? Yes. But humble? No. And we all make excuses to make ourselves feel better, comfortable even. I for one don’t want to be comfortable. Why? In a world of quick fixes and a million answers that try to alleviate the guilt we put on ourselves- I’d rather make myself- push myself to learn more about what is wrong with me rather than what I can hide better.
I talk about me all the time.
There it is.
This isn’t to say I don’t want to hear about you but I truly feel that what I can admit about myself and try and change then the better I may be for it and if that’s a selfish motive then screw you! I wanna be humble! To be humble is to love. Listening is love. Helping shows love and to love is a greater feeling than just talking about, boasting about, what I’ve done. Love is so much more than ourselves and when we can take ourselves away from the equation the better off we’ll be. So before I fall asleep and wander off into dreamland I propose the idea of laying the cards on the table and instead of trying to hide what’s bad about ourselves why not highlight it and try and fix it- dissolve it, and put in its place a better quality.