I haven’t posted in a long time, so what better time than on a snow day. Enjoy!
So today I day tripped in Hendersonville. It’s not super far from my hometown and it’s probably one of my favorite places to go on a weekend, only being like 30-40 minutes away.
We mainly walk through the downtown area and go to good ole Kilwins. There’s a really great used book store called Joy of Books to peruse and if you’re down for coffee (who isn’t?) there’s Black Bear Coffee Co. which I still have yet to go into…
The old courthouse stands as the Henderson County Heritage Museum and I mean, it’s actually really interesting if you’re into history like moi.
It’s a pretty dope little mountain town, right up the road from Flat Rock, where the Carl Sandburg Home stands, and about 30 minutes away from Asheville. Anyway, I love this little town…
So it’s been a while… I’m still alive and I will survive. As of late I feel like I’m on the struggle bus and what does one do when they’re driving the bus? She writes! No, my eyes are not on the road at this very moment but on a computer screen screaming “WHY ME!”
To be honest I knew this season of struggle was on its way. I felt really calm a month ago, like right before a storm hits. You can smell it in the air, the wind is blowing, and on the horizon you see a huge, impending, formidable storm coming for you.
School is going well, yet it feels unchallenging. Work is extremely slow and I don’t know where I’m going to next. I’ve fallen for the lie that I look like Sloth from the Goonies. I’m constantly worried about my family, and the Lord and I seem to be drifting apart… When Jesus stood on water during the storm He didn’t say “hey, look at that cloud over there! It looks like your life because you failed.” He said “Take courage. I am here. Come and stand out here with me.” And yet, in this moment in my life I keep allowing the storm to get in the way. I’m bending over the side of the boat going “What? I can’t here you. Hey, look at that cloud!”I wake up every morning believing God is gonna scrub me of this sinful thinking but the truth is is that it’s up to me to get up and decide it’s gonna be a good day. He does get me up, and he pushes me here and there but he allows me to choose. He sent Jesus to let me know He’s got my back, to not forget, and to always keep my eyes on Him- to jump out in that storm. To keep my faith. To hold firmly and never let go.
So I’ve woken up today and I decide that.
He won’t get rid of my struggles like a quick snap of the fingers but He’ll stand by me through them all. Maybe I just need to grab some courage from within my life preserver and jump. I might fall in the water but I know how to swim to Him. He won’t let the sharks get me.
The rain fell for the past two days and it was nice. The chill cold air came rushing on in and I got to see my breath again. I like the cold. I like trying to get warm from it. Burrito-ing myself in the stack of blankets, burning my tongue on hot drinks, and pulling on layers of clothes to just peel off later. The beginning of the rain started at the parade with little droplets that kissed my face. They fell from the sky in the evening. We all sat on the side of the road watching as marchers, greeters, wavers of the crowd came singling on through the hoards of all of us. We saw dragons, and pink ladies, and “Merry Christmas” everywhere. The sound of the drums rumbled in my chest… Oh how I love that feeling. I woke this morning to find the rain was still here. There’s something comforting about listening to it. It could be a torrential downpour outside my window or a light pattering on the top of my tent and whatever it is makes me want to burrow my head deeper into my pillow- the land of dreams. The rain slows things down. It washes the dirt away, and consoles me, even if it grows bitter outside.
The truth is I love contemplation. I was born a thinker. My mind tends to soar the highest peaks to the deepest depths of the ocean and I don’t think it’ll stop. My favorite part of this trip were the moments of immersed reflection in the midst of the burning of my legs on the steepest of trails. The forest got quiet and the wind would blow and I felt good.
I felt God with me and I was happy.